Liquid Death - Greatest Hates

Posted on May 1, 2020

  • Brand Awareness
  • Live Action
  • Food & Drink
  • Bold & In-Your-Face
  • Visual & Music Driven
  • 1 min
  • Horizontal (16:9)
  • +

    Available on Spotify:
    https://open.spotify.com/album/35MCONvg1s2g8KqgxEEnAw?si=kJw2NZvZTsymI6sF3YUCZw

    And Limited Edition 12-Inch Vinyl:
    https://liquiddeath.com/products/greatesthates

    Tracks/Lyrics:

    1. HUGE TOOLS (EVERY SINGLE PERSON INVOLVED)
    “Liquid Death” doesn’t exactly portray
    Thirst quenching mountain spring water
    Take my advice and call it quits now
    Before you keep losing more money!

    Not sure if I’d want to drink that.
    Doesn’t really say “safe” or “healthy” to me.
    Every single person involved in this brand
    Has to be a huge tool.


    2. RECONSIDER YOUR LIFE CHOICES
    One of the dumbest things I’ve ever fucking seen.
    Your company is one and done.

    You should seriously reconsider your life choices
    If you actually buy this crap
    Please go out of business quickly.


    3. FIRE YOUR MARKETING GUY
    Quality woman repellent.
    Bankrupt in no time.
    Fire the guy who came up with this pitch,
    And everyone who signed off on it.

    That name makes me not wanna drink your water.
    Uh, fire your marketing guy.


    4. DUMBEST NAME EVER FOR WATER
    I dunno.
    I’m a person on the internet
    And I thought your ad campaign fucking sucked.
    Not impressed.
    And you sell water. Water.

    Dumbest name ever for water.


    5. GET SLAUGHTERED ON SHARK TANK
    So you were expecting us to ingest
    Something that’s labeled “Liquid Death”
    LOL pass

    I wish these owners would go on Shark Tank
    Just so I can see them get slaughtered
    For naming their water “Liquid Death”


    6. THIS WATER COULDN'T BE LESS APPEALING
    I’m not sure there’s any way possible
    To make water seem less appealing
    Disgusting name
    Decomposing head on can
    Water is not actually visible.
    In public or at work???
    Looks like you’re drinking
    Corner-store malt liquor.


    7. SELLING YOUR SOUL IS DEPLORABLE
    A bit over the top
    The fact that you have an option
    To “sell your soul” is deplorable

    Try a new sales pitch
    That isn’t for satan worshippers


    8. GO OUT OF BUSINESS
    It will be exciting
    To hear how quickly
    This asinine company
    Goes out of business

    Cannot wait for you
    To go out of business


    9. THIS CRAP IS PURE EVIL
    This is a disgrace
    Your soul is worth a whole lot more
    Than a case of water
    My soul belongs to my heavenly father
    Who gave it to me to use
    Until he needs it back with him again
    This crap is pure evil in the works


    10. BAD MARKETING
    Why would I buy something
    That leads me to believe
    I am going to die from drinking it?

    This probably the dumbest product
    I have ever seen.
    Bad marketing.


    Credits:
    Executive Producer: Blasko
    Produced and Recorded by Gus Rios
    Cover art by SoloMacello
    Drums by Gus Rios
    Guitars and Bass by Gus Rios and Seth Ringler
    All music by Gus Rios and Seth Ringler
    Lyrics by real internet haters
    Arranged by Gus Rios
    Lead vocals by Torin Ridgeway
    Backing vocals by Jim Malone
    Mixed and Mastered by Matt Laplant



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